Pack Your Bags, We’re Moving

In celebration of a great season and many memorable hatings we’ve decided to move to own our domain and hosting service. What does this mean for all our readers? Not much, except you’ve got to update your bookmarks.    

Over the next few weeks Aaron and I are also going to sit down and discuss the future direction of the blog. We’ve had such a blast hating on all that is Pigskin and would love to expand to other sports or even the entertainment industry. If you have any thoughts, suggestions, or hatings then please sound off in the comments.    

In the meantime, close the door on this url and check out www.homeofthehate.com for your all your NFL hate-rtainment.

The Nick of Tynes

It could have been a long plane ride and a long offseason for Lawrence Tynes.  He had missed two potential game winning field goals, the last being missed as regulation ended.  It was started to feel like a deja vu going back to Jay Feely against Seattle.  Feely was appropriately punished by being sent to play for the Miami Dolphins, a very severe punishment.  But this was different.  This was the NFC Championship game in historic Lambeau Field.  If Feely gets sent to the worst team in history for missing kicks in a regular season game, imagine where Tynes would have gone for missing kicks in the NFC Championship?

Tynes was so ineffective that when the Giants set up to kick the game winning field goal in overtime, the Packers didn’t even bother to call a timeout in an attempt to freeze the kicker (giving the term a whole new definition with it being played in Green Bay).  After all, it was a 47 yarder, and he had missed a 29 yarder at the end of regulation.  Without any drama, Tynes kicked the ball through the uprites and thus saved his job and maybe even his own life.

Right after the dramatic ending in overtime, the Giants personnel celebrated by wearing their NFC Champions shirts.  Of course, for that to be possible, shirts would have to have been made up ahead of time for both teams just to play it safe.  Which got me wondering, what happens to the shirts of the team that loses the game?  Do they get trashed?  Do they get sent to the Salvation Army?  There’s a lot of people who need clothes in the world and I doubt they’d object to wearing the shirt of a team that lost the game that the shirt displayed they won.

Of course there was another game on Sunday but the less said about that the better.  The Chargers were given so many oppurtunities to at least score a touchdown that it became sickening.  Which leads me to my Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week.  The whole time all I could ask myself was where was Ladanian Tomlinson?  This was the AFC Championship game with a chance to go to the Super Bowl and he’s not playing!  More than that, it is against the Patriots, the team that knocked San Diego out of the playoffs last year in San Diego and celebrated by mocking the sack dance of Charger Shawn Merriman which led to the dismissal of their head coach Marty Schottenheimer.  Yes, he was injured, but I don’t care if you have something severed.  In a situation like this, you play.

Is It Wrong To Run Over A Patriots Fan?

That’s the thought that crossed my mind this afternoon coming home from work. There was a jogger by the side of the road wearing a Patriots hat as if to say “I’m just jogging by the side of the road just to show off this hat.” It was times like this I wish I was in a cartoon. But then I started to wonder, would I really get in trouble? I mean this was New Jersey and I really wouldn’t be hurting anyone except the jogger, so there would be no real damage. Sure, there are a few frontrunners in the Garden State (where were these so called fans when Dick MacPherson was their coach and Hugh Millen was their quarterback). It crossed my mind that the most punishment I might get for running down a Patriots fan would be community service or a small fine. Or perhaps just paying for the court costs. If only this was a cartoon…There will be a new champion in the NFL this year after the Colts choked at home (like that hasn’t happened before) against the Chargers. What struck me was how even in supposed injury, Philip Rivers was able to talk shit and mock the fans, of course, while on the sidelines. How can someone talk shit when he leaves the game and his backup who’s never even started a game, let alone played in a postseason game, leads his team to the winning touchdown. Injured or not, Rivers looked pretty healthy on the sideline yelling at fans.

Earlier this week the NFL announced its Defensive Player of the Year and Comeback Player of the Year both of which are not to my liking or approving of. Maybe it was a strategy by the NFL because both players who were named lost their playoff games on the same day, that being Bob Sanders and Greg Ellis respectively. Of course for defense I would’ve gone for my man OSI, and if you need a last name to go with that, think of how many Osi’s do you know? As for Ellis, who the hell is this guy even? How could you ignore Randy Moss, who’s pretty much been retired the last two years playing for the Raiders, or Kurt Warner who went from trivia question to leading the Cardinals to its first non-losing season since 1998.

There were a lot of commercials made and aired this season featuring NFL players but as the season goes on, the teams they play before get eliminated. With that said, it’s kind of weird to see commercials with players who have been eliminated from the playoffs as soon as five minutes ago. After the Colts lost to the Chargers, we were bombarded by Peyton Manning ads much as we always are, and even a Matt Hasselbeck commercial.

This season I’ve had some pleasurable times naming my Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week, and some disappointing times, but this week’s drealocks winner makes up for all of them. Without a doubt, the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week is Tony Romo, who now has a streak going of chokes in the playoffs. In his defense, at least he failed this time by passing rather than attempting to hold onto a snap for a chip shot field goal. Well, now he has all the time in the world to take any vacations he wants and I think he should because I doubt anyone really wants him in Dallas right now. In one of the more shocking events, Terrell Owens actually cried when answering questions about Tony Romo. Yeah right. He’s probably crying because he knew he should’ve put money on the Cowboys to lose but didn’t have the guts to do it. Maybe next year, T.O.

PICKS
New England over San Diego: I’m actually a little conflicted here. After watching Philip Rivers do his usual sideline out of the game shit talking, I kind of don’t want to see him have any success at all. Well, it won’t matter. They don’t have a prayer. I’d say Pats 48-14.

Green Bay over Giants: Tough pick. Really tough. It’ll be a close game and the weather won’t really bother the Giants. Kind of hurts to say, but looks like we’re looking at a repeat of Super Bowl 31, which will unfortunately have different results this time.

Hating on the Sarah Connor Chronicles

If you watched any of the playoff games on Fox, you saw the ads for the “Sarah Connor Chronicles” through the commercials, plugs by announcers, not to mention the text filling up the screen.  I guess with no other scripted shows on TV this is Fox’s only hope.  One thing they were setting up and I was hoping they’d do would be putting the Terminator against Cleatus, the Fox NFL robot.  It would be interesting see Cleatus do something other than jump up and down and run in place.

In case you missed the “Terminator” series it’s interesting to see how things have now changed for the cyborgs.  Instead or merely acquiring their targets, the terminators now must register for classes or apply for jobs in able to infiltrate the human race.  I wonder what they put down for references.

Speaking of jobs, kind of depressing to see that after all this time, after all this gained knowledge and experience, Sarah Connor is still a waitress.  I guess it might be the only thing she can get, always being on the run and all, but then again she has been able to get cell phones and homes without ID’s or anything.

It seems odd to me the choice Skynet has made for new terminators.  In the second movie you had the T-1000, who could change shape and appearance as well as easily recoupe injuries.  This time, Skynet sends back simple terminators with such bad aim they couldn’t hit the fattest part of Jared Lorenzen’s ass.

This time John Connor decided to send back a female terminator to “protect” him.  I guess he remembered that back then that no women would talk to him.  That presented a great possibility of an additional threat.  This whole trying to kill John Connor with guns and knives things haven’t seemed to work.  Why not send back a beautiful woman with a venereal disease to infect him.  There also is a 120-second delay whenever a terminator gets really hurt and must shut down.  You have to wonder if John will think about shocking the female terminator for a little two minutes of pleasure.

It also seems that the terminators can move back and forth through time as opposed to once you’re somewhere, you’re there.  It becomes apparent that a terminator went back through time to a bank back in the 60’s.  I started to think, wow, the terminators are now becoming capitalists and investing money back in time to accumulate enough interest to be rich in the future.  Apparently I was being too smart because the terminator just planted weapons, or rather, many numerous parts to one big weapon in various safety deposit boxes.  Don’t you think John Connor would have enough sense that if you invest enough money over time, you’d be able to BUY weapons? 

In one of the more awkward scenes of the show, the female terminator travels with Sarah Connor and her son to the future, which means of course they were all naked.  This must have been the biggest conflict in John Connor.  To one side he has a naked female cyborg, but on the other there’s his mother naked.  If that wasn’t awkward enough, as the female terminator was busy acquiring clothing John stood very close behind his mother and looked like he was ready for rear entry.

This show really does seem like a sitcom to me.  With their being two women in John Connor’s life, even if one is synthetic, there will be a lot of catty behavior.  It reminds me of the movie “Monster in Law”, except this show is actually funny, albest unintentionally.  Once the ratings go down, and they will, I wouldn’t be surprised if they resort to a terminator and Sarah Connor make out scene.  After all, she didn’t seem to enthralled with Arnold in “Terminator 2″ and did look very muscular and masculine.  It would be a good twist if John did come on to the terminator, but was just not attracted to him.  “I am programmed to protect you…but I don’t like you.”  I better stop now before I give away any more ideas to the “Sarah Chronicles” writers, or whoever came up with this show.

Divisional Playoffs

It’s official.  The WGA strike has effected the Golden Globes ceremony, meaning that there will be no three hour telecast with the cheesiest puns Billy Crystal came come up with (oh wait, that’s the Oscars.)  Instead, they will have just a one hour reading of the winners.  I’m disappointed.  You know how when sometimes when a winner cannot make the ceremony they have someone accept for them.  With the SAG supporting the WGA strike, I was really looking forward to the winner’s dry cleaner walk up and accept for them.

3-1 last week, losing out on the Pittsburgh two point loss.  It was a week of the “first time in”…as in the first time a team has won a playoff game since (insert long stretch of time here.)  For the Chargers, it was 1994, the Jaguars 1999, and the Giants 2000.  The only consistent playoff winner of this past weekend was Seattle which is heading to Green Bay for a sequel to their wild card matchup in 2003.  I’m sure the Seahawks fans will be hoping that they lose the coin toss.  That way QB Matt Hasselbeck won’t get the opportunity to say “We want the ball and we’re gonna’ score.”  Technically he did throw a pass for a score, but the other way in sudden death overtime which lost it for the Seahawks.

It seems Joe Gibbs is hanging it up again.  This is pretty much leaping off a sinking ship before it completely drowns.  Sure, the Redskins made the playoffs this year.  But it was only for the third time in 15 years.  They haven’t been to the playoffs back to back years since 1991 and 1992.  Before the Skins clinched the playoff berth there was talk that firing-happy owner Daniel Snyder would axe Gibbs.  Apparently being in the hall of fame isn’t enough to keep a job.  Gibbs knew that his team was able to pull together and make a run.  But next year is another year.

Ben Rothlisberger’s choking on Saturday night nearly secured him the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week.  But fortunately for him, there was another game the next day.  First a little backstory on it.  Over the offseason former Giants running back Tiki Barber did nothing but criticize his coach Tom Coughlin and quarterback Eli Manning (then again, who didn’t).  But the last two have certainly gotten back at Barber, not only winning a playoff game but doing it against his twin brother, Ronde.  During the course of the week, Ronde Barber made deragatory comments about the Giants and some broadcasters even implied that he might pump his brother for information on the Giants.  Well, if he did, Tiki obviously gave him the wrong info.

PLAYOFF PICKS

Seattle over Green Bay: Just a feeling I have.  The Seahawks looked impressive last week and Green Bay is still a young team and didn’t finish up too well.  It’ll be a close game which might even go to overtime like the game in 2003. 

New England over Jacksonville: A rematch of a 2005 Wild Card game.  I’m praying for different results though.

Indianapolis over San Diego: Peyton Manning had his worst day as a pro and netted himself the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Weeke for his performance against the Chargers with 6 picks.  Still, the Colts had a chance to win at the end of the game when usually dependable kicker Adam Vinatieri missed a chip shot at the end.  Expect different results.

Dallas over Giants: Believe me it hurts to type that.  Everyone is talking about the Giants success on the road, but their only road loss of the season came in Dallas.  That’ll make two games where I hope I’m wrong.  Here’s hoping I only go 2-2 this week but with specific games and I think you know which ones.  Hint, I don’t give a damn about Seattle or Indy.

Wild Card Weekend

Of course, since this is the playoffs, the normal format of DON’T MISS GAMES and TOILET BOWL will not be included (not that those terms won’t apply to some).

Seattle over Washington: Washington’s the hottest team in the NFC right now and have the real deserving coach of the year.  With a quarterback that hadn’t thrown a pass in this whole millennium and the motivation of having a player killed earlier in the season, they’ve got great drama going for them.  Unfortunately, they’re going to Seattle, which ever since they got out of the Kingdome, is one of the toughest places to play.  The Seahawks haven’t played well down the stretch but they didn’t have to.  Their division was theirs pretty much from midseason on and a team like this always saves its best for the playoffs.

Pittsburgh over Jacksonville: This is the game that’s toughest to pick.  On paper it’s easy.  Jacksonville is a better team.  But actually having beat Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh in the snow might have actually hurt the Jags.  It means added momentum for the Steelers, who rested their players last week.  But then again, home field advantage may not apply.  After all, the Steelers won the Super Bowl in 2005 by not playing a single game in the playoffs in Pittsburgh.  The Jags are a better team.  But sometimes being better isn’t enough.

Giants over Tampa Bay: Oh the irony.  Tiki Barber retires, trashes the team, coaches, and maybe even the waterboys, and the Giants seem doomed without a running back.  That’s why sports can be so much fun.  The Giants have gone running back by committee while Tiki has, as Daryl Johnson said, “is talking about shoes on the Today Show.”  New York has improved by two games over last year and rose a spot in the playoffs.  And now they’re playing a team that features Barber’s brother.  Well, Tiki couldn’t get the Giants a playoff win since 2000 (three straight first round exits following) and now, going against a Barber, they could erase all of that.  I never thought I’d ever have to hate on Tiki Barber, but again, that’s why sports can be so much fun.

San Diego over Tennessee: The easiest game for me to pick.  I don’t know how the Titans got into the playoffs this season.  With all the drama over PacMan Jones getting in trouble with the law more frequently than Britney Spears, and Vince Young obviously having a sophomore jinx, I can’t figure out how they did it.  But, now they’re going to San Diego which needs to validate not only its season but its firing of Marty Schottenheimer a year ago by, gasp, actually winning a playoff game.  The Chargers are better and they have to win at least one game this postseason.  Sometimes it’s better to finish with just eleven wins and have to play an inferior team in a first round game than have fourteen wins and have to play a winner of a first round game.

168-88…and Hatings of the Week

That headline depicts my record this season.  I compared and competed with the guys over at Inside the NFL and I am happy to report that I was able to beat out hall of fame quarterback Dan Marino in the picks.  He finished with 167 wins.  So, in addition to being known as the “Home of the Hate”, this blog will also be known as the SITE THAT PICKS GAMES BETTER THAN DAN MARINO AND HAS JUST AS MANY SUPER BOWL RINGS AS HE DOES.  I know it’s a long slogan but it is true.  In fact, I have just as many Super Bowl rings as any of the Inside the NFL hosts.  Bob Costas finished with 169 wins, one better than me, and Cris Carter had 172, and Cris Collinsworth had 177.

Right after the final game is played it becomes a guessing game of which coaches will be fired, which will resign, etc.  Two years ago, after a winning a game, Vikings coach Mike Tice was on his way out of the building when ownership called him up and fired him.  Happy new year, Mr. Tice.  Although we’ve already seen one coach quit (Bobby Petrino), it took awhile for the gallows to fall on anyone.  Odds were on Dolphins coach Cam Cameron to get that distinction, and from the season he had maybe being hanged would have been less painful than coaching Miami for a whole season.  But Cameron can at least say he wasn’t the first coach fired.  The Baltimore Ravens rewarded coach Brian Billick for winning them a Super Bowl by giving him a pink slip.  Talk about hating.

This week the NFL announced it’s coach of the year.  The one we were all rooting for was Browns coach Romeo Crennel, who before this season didn’t even look like a dead man walking, but more of crawling.  However, the Browns really did choke down the stretch, and became the third team since realignment to finish 10-6 and out of the playoffs (all three of which, this year’s Browns, 2003’s Dolphins, and 2005’s Chiefs came from the AFC).  I began trying to think of other candidates and my odds on favorite would have been Redskins coach Joe Gibbs.  Imagine my horror, dismay, and downright disappointment in the Associated Press that they named Bill Belichick coach of the year.  I know there aren’t any official rules, but I think any coach caught cheating at the beginning of that season should not be given any reward at all.  Add to that the fact that he didn’t have to coach.  You give anyone the players he had this year, a retarded baboon could coach them to victory.  But then again, with Belichick getting caught cheating after the first game, maybe this is the first time in his career that he actually DID coach.

There were a lot of teams resting players this past weekend so choosing someone as the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week is a challenge.  Being the fact that I was rooting for the Colts to beat the Titans so that the Browns could make the playoffs, I’m choosing Colts quarterback Jim Sorgi.  The Colts are now the first team to have two different players, even more, two players at the same position be the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week.  Sorgi proved why he’s a backup and even shows that Hefty Lefty Giants quarterback Jared Lorenzen has a better chance of being a starter in this league than he does.

The Only Football Blog NOT To Mention the Patriots

This time last week everything was so clear for the playoffs.  The top five were pretty much set in both conferences and a week later are now locked, but the last seed has changed dramatically in both conferences.  The Cleveland Browns, the re-born Cardiac Kids who has been this year’s New Orleans Saints, was locked in and only needed a win over the defenseless Cincinnati Bengals to secure the spot.  A week later, they are now on the outside lookig in, needing not only a win but a Tennessee Titans loss as well.  The same goes for the Minnesota Vikings with their record setting rookie running back Adrian Peterson, who just needed one win as well, but this time at home.  Just like the Browns, now a week later they need a win and another team to lose, but in their case it’s the team that just beat them to snag the advantage for that last spot, the Washington Redskins, who had it not been for Hall of Fame Coach Joe Gibbs forgetting the rules of the game (you can’t call two timeouts in a row) they might already have that spot locked up.  Lucky for us, he doesn’t, and we have some excitement heading into the final weekend. 

The Giants clinched their third consecutive playoff berth on Sunday, which is impressive since the only team with a longer playoff streak is Seattle (2003).  They defeated Buffalo in what had the most varying weather conditions I’ve seen in awhile.  Rain, wind, hail, and of course snow all made appearances during the game.  Barely making an appearance was Eli Manning, throwing only three second half passes, two of which were intercepted.  In addition he fumbled the ball away on consecutive possessions and plays, once at the end of the first half and the first play of the second half.  It’s definitely safe to say the Giants have rode the running game and their defense returning turnovers for touchdowns to vicotry.

Although I’ve been critical of Eli (putting it mildly) he actually is off to a better start than brother Peyton.  Peyton’s first year in ‘98 was a learning year which they had only three wins, then he led his team to first game playoff exits in ‘99 and ‘00.  However, his team failed to make the playoffs in ‘01.  Eli, on the other hand, after having a rookie season similar to his brother’s in ‘04, has now made the playoffs three straight years.  Of course, the team’s success really has nothing to do with Eli, but it is something to take into consideration.

I hope I’m not the only one who has noticed how bad Tony Kornheiser is at announcing Monday Night Football.  He’s the worst since well, Dennis Miller and for the same reason…he’s not interested in sports.  Kornheiser is more interested in celebrity and entertainment, focusing more on who the players are dating rather than the game being played.  Miller, on the other hand, was more interested in quoting Beowulf and Shakespeare and attempting to show off a high IQ.

Last week I intended to give the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week for the first time to a kicker, but due to Tony Romo disappointing Jessica Simpson more than Jamie Lynn Spears disappointed Planned Parenthood, he got the nod.  This week however, a kicker will get the nod.  And it is the Packers punter Jon Ryan.  He not only dropped a punt in the wind of Chicago, but had two of them blocked.  The Packers loss secured them only the second seed in the playoffs.  Almost getting the nod this week is Ryan’s teammate, Brett Favre, who claimed that this was the coldest game he’s every played.  Really?  A guy who plays his home games in Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of the Ice Bowl, the coldest game in history, says that this was the coldest.  If that’s true, then Favre might be heading for another home playoff loss.

Okay, now the picks.  I’m 156-84.  Since I’m combining picks and views this time, I’ll spit out the picks.

DONT MISS GAMES

Washington over Dallas: Dallas has nothing left to gain and Joe Gibbs might be fighting for his job. 

Cleveland over San Francisco: Unfortunately it might be too late for the Brownies who blew it last week in Cincy.

Tennessee over Indianapolis: I have no idea how Tennessee has managed to do it, but they’re on the thresh of the playoffs.

Minnesota over Denver: Minnesota needs a win and a Washington loss to get in.  They’ll at least do their part.

LOCAL ACTION

Cheaters over Giants: Like the headline said, they will not be mentioned.

Jets over Kansas City: Should the Jets want to win, or simply want a better draft pick…

Philadelphia over Buffalo: Too much too late for Donovan.

IF THERE’S NOTHING ELSE ON TV

Carolina over Tampa Bay: Tampa Bay will rest its players for the playoffs while Carolina is still looking to audition players for next year.

Green Bay over Detroit: Green Bay’s got nothing left to gain, but I don’t see Detroit going into Lambeau in December and winning.

Houston over Jacksonville: Another game with starters resting for playoff teams.  Houston might get its first non-losing season in team history.

Chicago over New Orleans: A rematch of last year’s NFC Championship Game…but you wouldn’t know it.

Pittsburgh over Baltimore: Pittsburgh wants that number three seed and they’ll have to go through Baltimore…try not to laugh.

Atlanta over Seattle: Interesting if Emmitt Thomas gets a win at all as an interim coach.  Luckily he’s playing a team with nothing to gain.

Arizona over St. Louis: Arizona finishing at .500!  They’ll try against a team that plays where they used to.

TOILET BOWL GAMES

Miami over Cincinnati: Just a feeling I have.

San Diego over Oakland: Jamarcus Russell’s first start…let the Philip Rivers shit talking begin.

Week 16 Picks…and a complaint to NFL Network

NFL Network used to be a godsent.  Constant discussion of the NFL, replays of games that I wasn’t able to see in my market.  But now, gasp, NFL Network has turned into a station for metrosexuals!  There is a series of commercials set at a diner where a bunch of guys discuss football…or rather discuss quarterbacks and their looks.  One ad sees a guy comparing Tom Brady’s looks to Carson Palmer’s and then analyzing Brady’s face.  There’s another where the guy says that Ben Rothlesberger should grow his beard back that he had the year he won the Super Bowl, and then starts describing how good he looked with it.  The latest talks about Tony Romo and a guy says from the looks of him he doesn’t need mistletoe.  Wow.  Something is wrong when a station devoted to the world’s greatest sport where men beat each other to a pulp, becomes gay.

There are two kinds of sports sites.  One reports the news and tries to be cutting edge with beating the others to the punch.  Then there is one that reports opinions, and mocks specific players and teams, ie, this site.  But when the site that reports the news turns out to be wrong, where do you go?  This week ESPN couldn’t shut up about Bill Parcells going to Atlanta to become the Falcons Vice President.  It was reported around the clock on ESPN News and had analysts like Chris Mortensen and John Clayton saying how Parcells was meeting with Falcons owner Arthur Blank “as we speak”.  Then a few hours later, the little bubble on the bottom of the screen says Parcells NOT going to Atlanta.  It seems instead of a 3-11 team, he’d rather work for a 1-13  team in Miami.  I guess it makes sense.  I mean, Miami is where all senior citizens go to run out the clock.  Perhaps he just felt the peer pressure.

Now to the picks.  My Thursday winning streak continued as Pittsburgh moved closer to clinching a division title.  Odd how they have a better record than San Diego yet have not even clinched a playoff berth yet while San Diego has wrapped up its division.  That just goes to show you that it’s not necessarily how good you are but how bad your counterparts are.

DON’T MISS GAMES

Green Bay over Chicago: No matter who’s in the playoffs and who’s finishing in last place, these two always have momentous games.  Take last year’s season finale in which the Packers, with nothing to play for, when in to Chicago and gave Rex Grossman yet another unmemorable game.  This year it’s the opposite with the teams, but it will be the Packers winning again.

Minnesota over Washington: This might be the game of the week.  Well, being that this is only the second in my don’t miss games, it definitely is.  Minnesota has been strong of late while Washington with Todd Collins at quarterback are just prolonging the inevitable.

LOCAL ACTION

Giants over Buffalo: Now this is a tough one.  Because my heart and my brain are in debate on this one.  All signs point to the Giants having another late season collapse and with the Patriots coming to the Meadowlands next week, being home for the holidays.  But I refuse to believe that the Giants could lose their spot in a conference like the NFC.  No matter how bad they’ve played, they’re still a game up for it.  It’s odd how they already have one more win than last year’s team yet could very well miss the playoffs.

New Orleans over Philadelphia: A rematch of a playoff game last year between two teams who are not going to the playoffs.  I was impressed with the Eagles last week mostly because they beat the Cowboys and I became a fan of Brian Westbrook for his great hating on Dallas.  It was like stabbing someone and only having to push the blade in just a bit more to end his life, but instead choosing to let him linger and die slowly.  Alas, that won’t happen this week.

Tennessee over Jets: Tennessee still has a chance for a playoff berth while Chad Pennington might still have a chance to save his job for another year.  It’s a close one, but I’ll stick with the newer Titans beating the team that used to be called the Titans.

IF THERE’S NOTHING ELSE ON TV

Cleveland over Cincinnati: The Browns are closing in their first playoff berth since 2002, and from the looks of it, they’ll be facing the same opponent as in that 2002 game, the Steelers.  This week will bring them closer to that.

Indianapolis over Houston: Usually Indianapolis throws away a few games this time every year so maybe the Texans might have a chance of winning and gasp, clinching a non-losing season.  But I think Indy has too much pride to lose at home to the Texans.

TOILET BOWL GAMES

Dallas over Carolina: This is where Tony Romo started his first game and NFL Network actually had the nerve to say “That’s where the legend began.”  God, he’s not even played a full two years yet.  Oh well, he’ll win this week like he seems to be doing with everything else (except holding the ball on field goals).

Detroit over Kansas City: Detroit will break their losing streak…but a few weeks too late for it to count for anything.

Jacksonville over Oakland: The Jags are in line for a playoff spot while the Raiders are competing not to finish in last place.  Maybe they won’t.  But this week won’t help.

Arizona over Atlanta: If Arizona wins out they’ll have their first non losing season since their last playoff berth of 1998.  This week will help that.

Tampa Bay over San Francisco: Tampa Bay is playing to get the third seed in the playoffs while the 49ers will be trying to get out of there early to get some late Christmas shopping done.

New England over Miami: Everyone else is talking about the Patriots so why should I?

Seattle over Baltimore: With the way things have gone this year, perhaps Brian Billick wishes he did get fired at the end of last season.  Who knows, he may get his wish after all.

San Diego over Denver: Only interest here will be to see Mike Shanahan finish with his first losing season since 1999.  Actually, that was his only losing season.  Suddenly, the choice of Jay Cutler over Jake Plummer doesn’t seem so smart.

Tuesday Afternoon Quarterback…’Tis the Season for hatings

So many hatings this week, where to begin.  Where else than the guy who deserves it the most, Tony Romo.  Here’s a guy who has one good season, actually a good half season, who is suddenly thrust into the public eye and gets the attention of Jessica Simpson.  Well, following Nick Lachey I guess it was hard for her to find someone even more of a tool than him.  She seems to have found him.  For the first time since 2004, the Cowboys did not score a touchdown.  It got so bad that the Fox announcer said that maybe Jessica oughta switch at halftime and put on a Donovan McNabb jersey.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she was banned from Texas Stadium.

A.J. Feeley, the backup for Philadelphia, hasn’t had much action following Donovan’s return.  Actually he didn’t have much action even when he was starting for an injured McNabb.  Still though, he found a way to get some attention during the game.  As a referee was running down the field to track a pass play, a loitering Feeley just stood there on the sideline and the referee ran into him, giving the Cowboys an automatic first down.  Hey, it was the most playing he’d seen in weeks.

The best hating of the week goes to Eagles running back Brian Westbrook.  Up by four points, Westbrook was all clear for a touchdown that would put them up by 11 points but would give the Cowboys the ball back.  Instead, Westbrook positioned himself and fell right on the one yard line, keeping the clock running and allowing his team to run out the clock.  Not only was this hating on the Cowboys but hating on his own fantasy league owners who lost points by him not scoring.  The only thing funnier was the look on Andy Reid’s face, who said that Westbrook used that “Villanova education” well.

The search for the name of the Fox NFL robot is over.  And the name is Cleatus.  Cleatus.  What, did Fox only accept applications from Georgia and Arkansas.  I guess Jethrow came in second.  But how do you get Cleatus from that robot?  When you look at it, how do you think, that’s a Cleatus?

The Atlanta Falcons have garnered some dubious achievements this season, starting with their quarterback being sent to prison before training camp and their coach quitting with four games to go.  But last week might have been their greatest feat as their opponent, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, not only clinched the division against them, not only blew them out, not only kept them out of the end zone, but for the first time in the Bucs’ team history dating back to 1976, returned a kickoff for a touchdown.

For this week’s edition of the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week, I decided to get a little cute with it at first.  Following the naming of Bobby Petrino as the first head coach to get the honor (which will probably be the only accomplishment he gets in his career) I decided to give the honor for the first time to a place kicker, Ravens kicker Matt Stover. 

Matt Stover, one of the more reliable kickers in the league, had the chance to put the Dolphins at 0-14 and help his team avoid the embarrasment, no the humiliation, no the God awful have to hide your head in snow feeling of being the only team to lose to the Dolphins.  The game was in Miami, which means beautiful weather, ie no rain, wind, nothing to affect the kicker.  Instead, he hooked it as if he thought the goal posts were now located on the side of the stadium.  The announcers at the end gave some good hating on the Ravens, saying that this game says more about them than it does about the Dolphins.

Now he was all set to get it because I was certain that the Cowboys would beat the Eagles, and for a short while I considered giving it to the Eagles defensive back who intercepted a pass in the end zone, then decided to run it out and in the process fumbled it back to the Cowboys.  But the Eagles won the game, and the one criteria for being the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week is you have to lose your game.  Then it hit me…how can I not name Tony Romo as the winner of this week’s dreadlocks.  So I’ve come to my senses and give you this week’s recipient of the Nappy Headed Hoe of the Week…Tony Romo.

This week’s Thursday game pits Pittsburgh and St. Louis.  I’m undefeated with my Thursday picks this year, but most of the matchups have been pretty much gimmes.  So with that, you should be able to tell that I’m picking Pittsburgh.

Finally, I’ve found that sometimes it’s not actors begetting actors or athletes begetting athletes, but a mix of the two.  Justin Fargas, running back of the Oakland Raiders, was revealed to us to be the son of none other than the guy who played Huggy Bear on the original Starksy and Hutch.  When I heard that, I thought the announcers were hating on him for dressing up like a pimp in real life.  Instead, they are blood relatives.  I can’t tell the resemblance, but then again Fargas is forced to wear a regulation NFL uniform.  I’m sure underneath he has a big hat with a feather attached to it.